Netflix Prevents Children from Watching 230 Hours of Commercials per Year

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by Mita Altair | Updated December 20, 2017  

 

 

Hey kids! Buy this sugary junk food and this shiny, shoddily made toy, and eat at McDonalds!

Give us your parent’s money and grow into groomed consumers of products you don’t need and food that isn’t good for you.

High Fructose Corn Syrup!! Awesome!!! Trans Fat! Yeah!! Let’s become obese!!!

 

 

 

 

And whatever you do, don’t watch Netflix! Those evil, commercial free content providers don’t let you see our ads! How are you going to know what you want for Christmas if you don’t watch 230 hours of commercials per year? We tell you what you want. You would be lost without us. You don’t want Netflix. You want cable. You want commercials. You want what we want.

Written by Mita Altair

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