According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the definition of “fetish” is as follows:
On the third Friday of every January is the celebration of International Fetish Day. A holiday born out of the United Kingdom in 2008 (as stance against the criminalization of possession of “extreme pornography”), the day was created to not only celebrate the fetish community, but to bring awareness to it as well. Additionally, it is a day for people to learn to embrace and openly share their kinkiness. In a time where proudly displaying one’s sexuality is still stigmatized and openly criminalized (especially in the Trump era and during Covid), International Fetish Day is just one of a number of sex-positive holidays aimed to bring pleasure to the forefront of human consciousness.
One way to celebrate International Fetish Day is to wear purple. “Perverts Wear Purple” is an aspect of this special day, as it differentiates members of the fetish community from “vanilla” folks. Depending on your feelings towards the word “pervert,” for some it is a reclamation of an often dirty term. Since purple is a color heavily used in BDSM circles, wearing purple is a quiet, yet powerful stance that shows that you’re not ashamed to be who you are, and that you like what you like.
Too often in mainstream society, individuals are kink-shamed and made to stifle their innermost longings. In my opinion, if you aren’t (nonconsensually) harming yourself or others, there’s nothing to be afraid of. If we could all be our true selves without the burden of social stigma, the world would be a much happier place.
Whether you’re new or seasoned in the kink world, whether you have a partner or not, use this day to embrace yourself. There are plenty of virtual meetups, seminars, and more on sites such as Fetlife, or you can make some time for play (respsonsibly) with a partner. Or if you don’t have a partner, you can still engage in a little self-love, and shower yourself with a new bondage outfit perhaps…
In the words of the fabulous Dr. Frankenfurter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show:
“Don’t dream it, be it.”
What’s your fetish?
How did you spend your New Year’s Eve? Did you spend it with friends and family, and possibly a very special someone? Did you enjoy a kiss with your significant other as the clock struck midnight? Or are you one of the many who aren’t “booed up” during this holiday season? Are you currently looking for love as part of your New Year’s Resolutions? This Sunday may be a great day to start fresh with your love life. Despite the fact that we’re still in the midst of quarantine, online dating has opened up a world of possibilities if you’re looking to meet a special someone. If you’re open, there’s no geographical constraints and no limits to what you can find! No matter what you believe, there’s always someone out that has the same interests, passions, and dreams as you!
There’s are plenty of holidays that celebrate couples, but what about those of us that aren’t in relationships? The first Sunday after New Year’s, unofficially dubbed “Dating Sunday” or “Singles Sunday” is the busiest day of the year for dating sites. More than any other time, it’s the perfect opportunity to search for a match. Following the end of Cuffing Season, and preceding Valentine’s Day, Dating Sunday is the first “holiday” of the year for singles on the prowl.
With the loneliness and isolation caused by the Coronavirus, perhaps we may see an even bigger surge of activity on dating apps. Since many of us are still confined to our homes, we have to put in a bit more leg work to find meaningful and lasting connections.
According to multiple reports, there’s a dramatic increase in site signups, messages sent, and matches made. In 2020, Match.com predicted a 65% increase in registrations, while other sites such as Tinder made 44 million matches in 2017. So, if you’re looking for your perfect match, why not take advantage now!
But first, here are some ways to make the most of the busiest online dating day of the year:
Happy New Year and happy dating!
If you’re looking for more advice about online dating during Coronavirus, check out this article from the Dr. Susan Block Institute.
Happy December 21st! Have your powers activated yet?
it’s… starting- pic.twitter.com/Wky8rU5rP8
— yosnier (@Yosnier_) December 21, 2020
me tonight at midnight pic.twitter.com/lj47xuLBs4
— no, but im african ✭ (@yofavebaddie) December 20, 2020
Me after jumping off a 12 story parking deck at 11:59:46 pm tonight pic.twitter.com/fa4zh7mrAj
— Chidden Nuddet (@Maraculousness) December 21, 2020
Stevie Wonder waking up tomorrow pic.twitter.com/8jCHGOnzlQ
— Snob. (@jalanfatale) December 21, 2020
i done shitted on myself tryna teleport
— stan. (@BacockObama) December 21, 2020
— ⚡The Great Negrosolstice⚡ (@J_Suhs_Sock) December 21, 2020
Floyd Mayweather when he realizes he can read now: pic.twitter.com/akaBTwP0MZ
— SPARKZ ⚡️ (@ieSparkz) December 21, 2020
— ً (@TYRISPRINT) December 21, 2020
— puff 🍾☃️❤️ (@ianIoves) December 21, 2020
— . (@cowskincondom) December 21, 2020
— ♣JOKER♣ (@KFTBTy) December 21, 2020
— julia knowlesˣ⁴ (@JuliaTimesThree) December 21, 2020
This is a great article that attempts to demystify the reason so many men call for phone sex.
“My work with men has led me to believe that while men’s pain is not the same as being marginalized or oppressed, it is in fact profound. In my experience, men seek out the attention of sex workers because they feel unseen and unheard. Moreover, the only needs that they feel comfortable seeking to meet are their sexual ones.”
You can read the full article here.
A dirty Rorschach painting.
With Coronavirus cases skyrocketing during the winter season, it’s become apparent that social-distancing, or more specifically, physical-distancing isn’t going away anytime soon. Since most gatherings are prohibited, and most of us are confined to our homes, how are we supposed to remain sex-positive during a time where sex has become akin to a forbidden act? Whether you’re in a relationship or single, there are ways you can remain sexually active and sex-positive without risking your health. In fact, without the pressure to engage in physical intimacy, this forces us to get a bit more creative in our approaches to sexuality.
Here are some ways you can enjoy sex during a time of social (or physical) distancing:
Have any other suggestions? Feel free to comment!
India has a tumultuous relationship with the film industry and its display of blatant sexuality on screen. It’s the largest film industry in the world due to the number of films it produces each year. However, over the course of its history, the Central Board of Film Certification (India’s film censorship body) has banned some of the most innovative, thought-provoking, and provocative films. Anything that displays what constitutes as vulgar, sexually explicit or a challenge to authority is shielded from the Indian public. For the country that created the Kama Sutra, India has pretty Puritanical beliefs in regard to the consumption of art.
One of the films that were banned by the Indian censorship board was Mira Nair’s aptly named Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love. Drawn from the name of the ancient texts, the film is one that displays Kama Sutra more as a philosophy, and as a means to be in control of one’s sexuality. With the female gaze behind the camera, the film also shows a woman who decides to take control of her own destiny.
Despite its ill reception in its home country, Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love was critically praised. To this day, a genuine curiosity still surrounds the film. Even though the trailer in question no longer exists, it was the third most-watched on Youtube in 2018. Behind Avenger’s Infinity War, and the Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and ranking above Fifty Shades of Grey, that is no small feat. What does that say about the desire for the film? Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love remains banned in India to this day. Anything that’s provocative enough to be banned, becomes all the more enticing to those it is forbidden.
The opening of Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love was inspired by a story called “Utran” by Wajida Tabassum. The title refers to the term “cast-offs” or “hand-me-downs.” In 16th century India, two friends from different castes grow apart once they reach the age of marriage. Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love is indeed about love, but its plot is fueled by jealousy and female rage.
Tara (Sarita Choudhury) is from the upper caste, a princess. Maya (Indira Varma) is her lovely servant. As the film begins, Tara goes to a class where she learns about Kama Sutra (translated as “love lessons”). Maya watches from above, eager to join the other girls and learn what they learn. Early on in her life, Maya sits on the sidelines, watching as Tara enjoys the spoils of life. From the lower caste, Maya is gifted with Tara’s cast-offs, especially her hand-me-down clothes. Despite her modest upbringing, Maya is more alluring and naturally gifted in the art of attraction. Tara notices this, especially when her husband-to-be, Prince Raj Singh (Naveen Andrews) is immediately smitten with Maya.
After Tara mistreats Maya, Maya decides to seduce the prince on his wedding night. Bringing the concept of leftovers full circle, Maya finally passes something used on to Tara. After her encounter is discovered, Maya is shamed out of the palace, and forced to live elsewhere. While away, Maya finds love with sculptor Jai (Ramon Tikaram), and learns the art of Kama Sutra, as she had always wanted to.
In mainstream media, particularly in the United States, Kama Sutra has been largely colonized. It’s promoted mainly as a series of wild sex positions, watered down by white people to sell self-help books, yet its true meaning has been lost over time. Kama Sutra: A Love Story is described as an erotic film, but its eroticism lies in the interactions with the characters and the mindset that makes one attractive. It teaches audiences that “the art of love is much more than the act itself.”
To some, Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love‘s appeal may be its overt sexuality, but there’s more to it than that. Maya is a woman with her own agency and refuses to bend to the path laid out for her. From the beginning she states,
“I am no one’s slave!” and that she wants to make her own destiny.
Maya could have easily settled and married Tara’s brother Prince “Biki” (Khalid Tyabji), but she chose to go her own way. Unwilling to be second to Tara, Maya becomes superior in almost every way. Despite the animosity between the two women, Maya and Tara reconcile, and Maya teaches her old friend what she knows. A powerful moment is when the two women stand before a mirror, Maya encouraging Tara to admire herself. With some coaching, Tara finally gains the strength to stand up to her husband.
Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love, more than a love story, is a tale of strength. Why does a story of women overcoming need to be banned? If it encourages other women to do the same, then perhaps that’s where the fear lies. It’s not so much paying homage to an ancient Indian text as it is inspiring women to make their own choices.
One of my favorite publications, Wear Your Voice published an article highlighting the empowerment that phone sex can provide, whether it be professional or personal. Although it is not a traditional form of therapy for survivors, it offers a way to build autonomy without utilizing your body or sacrificing your own pleasure.
“KNOWING I CONTROL MY PLEASURE AND BOUNDARIES COMFORTS ME. WITH PHONE SEX, SURVIVORS CAN GET CREATIVE ON OUR OWN TERMS WITHOUT SACRIFICING OUR PLEASURE.”
You can view the link here.
The great thing about social media is that it has allowed for a host of artists to share their work in ways they previously weren’t allowed to before. Sites such as Twitter and Instagram have allowed for a thriving community that elevates erotic artwork and allows for artists to showcase the best of what they have to offer. Particularly of interest, erotic art has seen a surge over the past decade, with thousands of artists emerging to share their appreciation of sex and the human body. Here at Bonoboville, we also have an appreciation of sex and the human body and have built up a gallery of erotic art over the years. For the month of October, we’ve put together a list of some pretty talented and exciting artists to support not only on social media, but with your dollars. See our first list below:
SEX AND CAFFEINE
TASTY ART GURL
Shop: Purchasing info on Twitter
Shop: Purchasing info on Twitter
Shop: Email email@example.com
Shop: Info TBA. Follow on social media for updates.
Over the course of history, there have been landmark events that reinvented our approach to sex such as the mass production of the car, World War II (with the fifties and the rise of the nuclear family following suit), the invention of birth control, and even pandemics of past generations.
This wouldn’t be the first time that the United States has dealt with a monstrous pandemic. The Spanish Flu of 1918 also altered dating and intimacy, where any forms of sexual contact (especially kissing) were regarded as deadly and taboo. As social distancing proves itself to be the new normal, once again we’ll have to adapt.
While humans are attached to technology, at the same time we still crave face-to-face interactions. How do we build relationships and experience pleasure with other humans without the ease of social events? Over the past several months, it seems as if we’ve regressed to Regency-era antics akin to Pride and Prejudice, with wistful stares across the room, and where merely brushing fingers is like tasting the Forbidden Fruit. In the midst of a transitional period in history, how are those of us stuck in limbo going to make do?
With a culture driven by technology, finding love (or temporary satisfaction) is a double-edged sword. On one hand, the internet has unveiled a host of possibilities. Free of geographical constraints, and connecting bridges between unique interests, souls may find each other online that may have without the help of the internet. Over the past two decades, there have been millions of platonic, romantic, and purely sexual bonds that have formed with the aid of cyberspace. On the other hand, social media has increased the amount of lazy and surface-level interactions. Due to the abundance of readily available information, and the lack of effort needed to attain it, modern sex and dating have become even more of a conundrum.
To top it off, the hookup culture of today combined with hustle mentality and our increasingly nomadic nature has placed short-lived, self-serving ecstasy above meaningful relationships founded on mutual interests and taking the time to “get to know each other.” Sure the latter still happens, but it has become increasingly difficult to find.
Over the past several months, I’ve pondered what social distancing means for the future of those of us that are still very single. If you’re looking for love or lust, this period proves to be a massive hurdle to overcome. For the time being, gone are the days of meeting a hottie at a bar or a fated run-in in a coffee shop. Gone are the days of which you’d swipe right and link up for a steamy rendezvous. If you don’t have a thriving inner circle, it may be a task to meet new people who share your beliefs and interests.
So now what?
At this time, it’s important to be optimistic. If you’re still looking to try your hand at dating, perhaps it’s time to rejoin those dating apps you’ve sworn off. It may take a bit of mining and right-swiping, but there’s still a possibility that there’s someone just like you looking for you too. Also, in the virtual world, there are tons of classes, workshops, and gatherings to meet people. If you can find a regular gathering that suits your interests, you can add more interesting people to your circle. There’s a little more effort involved to meet like-minded souls these days, but it’s still possible. During the era of social distancing, this means that most individuals will be more selective of potential partners, and will more than likely take more time to get to know one another, or in some cases, there will be less “game-playing.” If someone isn’t interested, they simply won’t move forward.
On the other hand, quarantine is an excellent time for self-discovery and self-love. If you’re not used to being alone, this is a great time for rest and relaxation. It’s also a great time to develop and learn outside of the influence of others. While isolation can be harrowing, it forces some introspection. With everything moving at a slower pace, there’s more time to figure out who you are, where you are going, and what you want your current life to look like. Whenever you’re ready to put yourself out there again, you’ll be a better person, and have a better knowledge of what you’d like out of a relationship.
So what direction are you heading towards?
STAY TUNED FOR PART II of this article with suggestions on sexy activities during quarantine!
During social distancing, renowned website XBIZ has been at the forefront of reporting on the adult entertainment industry and creating informative panels for audiences. In a time where all forms of entertainment are evolving, it’s important to shed light on developments and the emerging communities. When it comes to sex work, it’s imperative to showcase unique points of view, because we’re all sexual beings after all.
Recently, XBIZ launched a panel entitled “Neurodiversity in Porn,” which featured writer Amberly Rothfield as moderator, and entertainers Hektek Desires, Daisy Ducati, Cleo Clementine, and Febby Twigs. Each panelist discussed working in the field with variations of clinical depression, ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, and more.
This wonderful panel aims to destigmatize “idiosyncracies to the mind and how we react to things.”
The full panel can be found here: https://www.xbiz.tv/v/3471690006/Neurodiversity-in-Porn-Panel-
Here is an article from the Daily Mail that reports that Donald Trump has been banished from the club of former living presidents due to numerous transgressions. When Trump leaves office, he will not be included with the likes of Barrack Obama, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Jimmy Carter.
The recently released book The Presidents Club goes in-depth in regards to the unofficial club. A fraternity of sorts, the Presidents Club is an elite club for a handful of men with a very rare shared experience. The club is there for support during shifting political climates, but Trump’s various misdeeds will end in a cold reception following the end of this term.
Here is a great, in-depth article from the Atlantic that discusses the different scenarios in regards to the election in November. It’s a sobering article that evaluates the psyche of Donald Trump, and the best to worst outcomes of the voting results. As of now, Trump and his team are doing everything in their power to tip the scales in their favor. From purposefully dismantling the post office, to attempting to align the fallback of COVID-19 to discourage voters, Donald Trump is eager to keep his position in the White House.
Writer Barton Gellman dissects the possibility that a peaceful transfer of power will not occur in the event that Trump loses. Due to his psychopathic and narcissistic tendencies (diagnosed or not) it’s inevitable that November 3rd and the time following are going to be monumental to the history of America.
You can read the article here: The Election That Could Break America
CNN reports: “Brett Hankison, the former Louisville police officer who fatally shot Breonna Taylor, has been indicted by a grand jury on three counts of wanton endangerment in the first degree.
Happy Sunday Sinners! Last night’s throwback episode of the Dr. Susan Block Show was a great discussion about sex, Christianity, and mortality. I’ve specialized in writing about the three subjects in regards to film and pop culture in general, so I was very excited to listen to the show and ponder my own experiences as a former bible study leader, and member of the church.
One of my pieces (which happened to be one of my sample submissions for editor/writer at Bonoboville) explores pleasure, mortality, revolution, and the “Decameron.” The “Decameron” is a thirteenth-century Italian masterwork that captures resilience, the power of storytelling, the hypocrisy of Christianity, and sex during the Plague. Set during a tumultuous period in history, the “Decameron” celebrates life and pleasure in all its forms in a time where death and misery were abundant.
The piece focuses on the many film adaptations of the book, and how they tie into the different movements in history, particularly the change in western attitudes towards sex in the early seventies. From 1971 to approximately 1975, there are over 40 film adaptations, entitled Decamerotici (Some poster art is linked below). There are other modern reincarnations such as Virgin Territory and The Little Hours.
Overall, if you enjoy film, history, sex, and religion, you might enjoy this piece.
Before leaving, here is a fun list of euphemisms for sex and genitalia from the 13th century:
“The evil hole never takes a holiday.”
“The kind of horn men do their butting with.”
“One cock is good enough for ten hens”
“I’m going to work your garden for you better than it’s ever been worked before.”
“Round breasts, as firm and delicate as if they had been made of ivory.”
Full post here: ENTERING VIRGIN TERRITORY
The piece was originally posted in the Patreon section of a website that is no longer live. The link is a repost.
Over the past couple of weeks, it has been reported that forced hysterectomies have been occurring at an Irwin County Detention Center, an ICE detention facility in Ocilla, Georgia. The facility is privately owned by LaSalle Corrections. The Department of Homeland Security is currently investigating the situation due to whistle-blower complaints. Nurse Dawn Wooten was brave enough to come forward and shed a light on the inhumane acts that are happening at Irwin County Detention Center, and possibly at other centers across the United States.
There have been numerous reports of women who were sterilized against their will. Many, afraid to make themselves known admitted that they were taken to hospitals for treatment without being fully aware of what was going on. A major issue in not only reproductive rights, this story points to a much larger and sinister issue at hand: the human rights crisis and the treatment of immigrants. How much don’t we know about what’s going on?
Here are a number of articles that are covering the story of Irwin County Detention Center:
Earlier this year, Maïmouna Doucouré’s film Cuties debuted at the Sundance film festival to overall critical acclaim. A coming-of-age tale that serves as a cautionary tale of the sexualization of young girls (Not unlike 2003’s Thirteen), most viewers understood Doucouré’s intentions. Following its debut and other international festivals, the film was acquired by Netflix for US distribution. However, months later, Netflix unveiled a poster that completely painted Cuties in a negative light. Not unlike the imagery displayed in shows such as Dance Moms or Toddler in Tiaras, there was an immediate backlash to the film, many viewers accusing Cuties of promoting pedophilia (without even seeing the movie first).
Despite the fact that Netflix removed it’s original marketing materials, the damage has already been done. Doucouré has received death threats, as well as many supporters and film critics (myself included). Following the headlines and the massive debate surrounding Cuties, Maïmouna Doucouré stands behind her work. Based on real-life experiences from her own youth, Cuties isn’t an unusual film with unusual circumstances. Was there this level of outrage outside the United States? Not at all. Perhaps it’s because of America’s Puritanical outlook on sexuality that sparked this mess.
In our media-driven society, children are being exposed to more at an earlier age. Cuties isn’t an endorsement of young sexuality but simply points out that it’s a very real issue that occurs all over the world. She was simply bold enough to go where so few directors go.
You can view the full article here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/cuties-director-maimouna-doucoure-why-i-made-the-film/2020/09/15/7e0ee406-f78b-11ea-a275-1a2c2d36e1f1_story.html
Over the past couple of years, Emily Ratajkowski has become a household name. Known primarily for her role in Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ video, Gone Girl, and laughably as Gibby’s cute girlfriend in iCarly, Ratajkowski has won the hearts of many. Having gained notoriety for her looks, Ratajkowski is the envy and desire of many.
Ratajkowski has always been vocal about social justice. Using her platform, the model-actress encourages her followers to vote, and speak out against sexual assault. In her in-depth essay for The Cut, Ratajkowski painfully details the fight for her own image. With many of her photos publicly available, Ratajkowski has seen “artists” profit off of her image, incorporating her photos in their “art.” Sadly, she often hasn’t seen the profits from these artists, nor has she gained justice for their misuse.
In her article, she details her experiences with exploitation, sexual assault, and her ongoing battle with photographer Jonathan Leder. Emily Ratajkowski’s story is one that highlights how men declare ownership over women’s bodies, and how it can be hard to be taken seriously if you’re deemed as “too sexy.”
You can read the article here: https://www.thecut.com/article/emily-ratajkowski-owning-my-image-essay.html
There have been a lot of popes in Italy’s history, but Pope Francis may be one of the coolest. In a book of interviews with writer Carlo Petrini, he describes the pleasures of food and sex as “simply divine.” While most religious figures shy away from matters involving any form of pleasure, Pope Francis encourages it. That’s important because experiencing pleasure in all forms is a part of what makes life worth living for. The new book is entitled “Terra Futura.” It recently published on Wednesday of this week.
To read more you can visit: https://www.insider.com/pope-francis-says-pleasures-food-and-sex-are-simply-divine-2020-9
With the escalation of police brutality at the forefront of the national consciousness, local governments are beginning to take notice and take action. Some cities have taken actual steps to defund police departments, other cities are diversifying their workforces, and others are taking steps to minimalize violence for non-threatening situations. Denver, Colorado has come up with a major system that may change 911 calls forever, especially when it comes to minor infractions and mental health calls. Instead of sending police, 911 dispatchers send an ambulance and medical professional. Over the course of the past three months, this new program has responded to more than 350 calls. Not surprisingly, none of the calls required armed backup.
This story was originally shared in the Denver Post. You can read more about this new development here:
Due to the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic, dating has become increasingly more difficult. Social distancing and the lack of physical touch can make any growing relationship struggle, and cause a fair share of difficulties for anyone looking to put themselves out there. However, this isn’t the first time that the United States has endured a pandemic. Back in 1918, the Spanish Flu ravaged the country, causing 676,000 fatalities in the states alone (the world total is reported to be an estimated 50 million). Without modern technology such as the internet, how did people in the Interwar period attempt to date? Cosmopolitan highlights the ways in which people connected during the Spanish Flu:
The sex tech industry was already booming, but the Coronavirus has brought forth a surge due to social and physical distancing. According to Lovense’s CEO Dan Liu, the lockdown has caused the sexual wellness market to accelerate by 13.4%. By 2026, the industry is predicted to be worth $122.96 billion. With our rapidly changing society, the sex tech industry needs to keep up since individuals will be seeking more innovative ways to enjoy sex without the physical touch of another human being. The Future of Sex reported this on their website in-depth: https://futureofsex.net/virtual-sex-entertainment/growth-of-sex-tech-market-speeding-up-and-will-surpass-123b-by-2026-says-lovense-ceo/
Now would be the perfect time for VR research, as well as other innovations. We’re looking forward to the creations that will emerge in the next couple of years.
Prior to Covid-19, Burning Man was the pinnacle of ethical hedonism and a place where individuals from all over could gather to celebrate the intersection between music, fashion, art, technology, and sex. Despite the virus, the festival is determined to move forward in an innovative way that allows for festival-goers to enjoy themselves in a time of physical distancing. For one week, organizers by the name of Raspberry Dream Labs created CYBER DREAMS: “a post-apocalyptic sex-positive future packed with musicians, erotic performers, social get-togethers, interactive entertainments, and a whole lot more.”
CYBER DREAMS is a virtual immersive experience that combines live music, dance, and sexuality. To read more about it, visit https://futureofsex.net/virtual-sex-entertainment/live-out-your-erotic-cyber-dreams-at-this-years-virtual-burning-man/.