Date(s) - 07/24/2018
7:00 pm - 10:00 pm
Categories No Categories
Okay, let’s admit it, at one time or another we’ve all said, yes when we wanted to say no, no when we wanted to say yes, and maybe when we really didn’t mean it.
Also, at one time or another, we’ve pushed someone’s boundaries, invaded their personal space, went in for the hug without waiting, accepted a lukewarm yes, when we knew they didn’t mean it. Right?!? How did it leave us feeling? Angry at ourselves and the other, guilt ridden, pissed off, remorseful. Why did we do it? Because neither culture nor family of origin taught us any better.
As a matter of fact, they taught us how to go against our own boundaries, (if they taught us about boundaries at all!) to push for what we wanted (a “real man” would go for it, wouldn’t they?), how to be nice and not make waves (a “good girl” would not raise her voice or cause a scene).
Also, we would have been taught that if a man really wanted someone, he would pursue them past their objections, and if the woman didn’t feign disinterest, she was likely a slut.
It’s time for a change: the sexual revolution 4.0 is here! And we are armed with all the tools we need, to do it right this time. Or you will be after you take this class.
In this 2.5 hour session you will learn and practice the following:
• How to make a list of your hard no’s, your, “under the right circumstances” and your, hell yesses!
• Where your line in the sand it, and where you want to test your own boundaries (maybe you don’t know how you feel about something until it happens.) Learn how to explore safely using safe words, changing your yes to a no, and giving and getting feedback.
• Learn how to say no, gently and caringly yet with authority and finality, and how to deal with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries (dealing with it as it happens, reporting it, and finding support after the fact,
• Learn how to get proper consent to protect you from claims of violation later on (examples: get it in writing, voice recording, witnesses),
• Physical maneuvers to evade: the unwanted hug, the stray hand in a snuggle, the person who doesn’t hear or respect your “no”,
• Using words, tone of voice, and screams to be heard and avoid all possibility of being misunderstood,
• What to do if you freeze (fight, flight, or freeze response), and how to recognize that someone you are interacting with has frozen (usually caused by past trauma.)
This is a practical, hands on, class where we will discuss actual and theoretical situations, and give useful information for how to deal with them.
Cassie Brighter is an author and public speaker. Cassie is the webmistress for SexPositiveWorld.com and the leader of Sex Geekdom L.A. Cassie focuses on teaching consent culture, social change and gender-diversity awareness. Cassie writes on Medium.com, and can be found on Cassie’s Facebook Page, or at CassieBrighter.com
Beverly Diehl is an author and editor. Beverly volunteers for SexPositiveWorld by running its many Facebook groups and hosting body-positive events known as Beautiful Badass Bodies. Beverly’s recently-published memoir “Sex, Drugs, Rock-n-Roll & a Tiara” describes how her experiences with polyamory and sex-positive communities helped her during her battle with breast cancer. You can find Beverly via her website, BeverlyDiehl.com
Sex Geekdom has 30 hubs in 8 countries. With 30 hubs in 8 countries, Sex Geekdom is a global community for people who love having geeky conversations about sex. It was founded in 2012 by sex & relationship educator Kate McCombs. You can learn more about Sex Geekdom here, and you can join Sex Geekdom Los Angeles via our Facebook Group.
SexPositiveWorld believes that people of every gender are longing for more love, connection, touch, and pleasure in their lives. We know that sex-negativity has systematically robbed people of safe and healthy ways to get these needs met, and we know that there is much work to be done to reclaim sexuality as something natural, healthy, and beautiful. Helping people feel safe and empowered is key, and good boundaries are vital.
Together with a team of therapists and sex-educators SexPositiveWorld has developed a class whose aim is to empower, teach strategy, find solutions, and make possible more love in the world.
Bring your family and your friends. (Be advised the discussion will include adult topics including candid discussion of sexual interaction.)
Plan to go out with your SPLA friends afterward for a discussion of the class and to further examine ways to expand into healthy boundaries.